Comedy

Dance, Monkey: Billy Bob Neck

We put a comic on the hot seat. This week's victim . . .

By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN | November 25, 2008

What would you do with a basket full of onions?
I'd eat 'em in the morning and I'd eat 'em in the evening all over this land. Y'all know that the Pilgrims thought cleanliness was next to Godliness. Onions was after that.

Who's cuter: your sixth-grade math teacher or Ted Stevens?
I was pretty sure a paper like this would ask some kinda homosexual question, being in Massachusetts and named after a Henry Potter book. Ted Stevens was framed, my sixth-grade math teacher was my deacon, and I ain't gay.

Finish this sentence: "If I had a hammer, i'd ____."
I'd build a jail to put Pete Seeger and all his Commie songwriting friends in. All them socialists continue to corrupt our youth with songs about drug-taking dragons and "peace." That's why I voted for Alan Keyes! He don't stand for folk songs.

What's your secret to such shiny, fluffy hair?
I got the hair that God gave me, and like my daddy always said, "Keep it short; keep it long." And Pert Plus.

Alternative sources of energy. Any ideas?
Why do we need that? Gas is cheap again!

Godly Thanksgiving Show with Billy Bob Neck | ImprovBoston, Cambridge | November 29 at 9:30 pm | 617.576.1253 orwww.improvboston.com

Half-baked Alaska
Why is the coldest state such a hotbed of corruption?
Good Shaq, bad Shaq
Is O’Neal’s fat-camp show kind or cruel?
Interview: Dennis Lehane
Mystic River author's new The Given Day gets down and dirty in the North End circa WWI
More